Whether you’re closing a business deal, asking for a raise, or resolving conflicts, negotiation is everywhere. In Negotiation Made Simple, John Lowry provides a clear, practical framework to help you negotiate with confidence, solve problems effectively, and build strong relationships while getting what you want.
This book isn’t about winning at all costs—it’s about creating value, maintaining respect, and securing better outcomes for all parties involved.
Key Takeaways from the Book
1. Negotiation is About Problem-Solving, Not Just Winning
✅ The best negotiators don’t focus on beating the other side—they focus on solving a problem.
✅ A negotiation is successful when both sides feel they’ve gained something valuable.
2. Preparation is 80% of Negotiation Success
✅ Never walk into a negotiation unprepared.
✅ Research these key elements before you start:
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Your goal (what you truly want).
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The other party’s needs, wants, and constraints.
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Possible objections and how you’ll respond.
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Your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)—what you’ll do if the deal fails.
3. Know Your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)
✅ Your BATNA is your backup plan if negotiations don’t go your way.
✅ A strong BATNA gives you leverage—you won’t settle for a bad deal if you have alternatives.
✅ Always work on improving your BATNA before negotiations.
4. Build Relationships, Not Just Deals
✅ People are more likely to negotiate fairly with those they trust.
✅ Start by building rapport and showing empathy—this makes people more open to compromise.
✅ Long-term relationships matter more than short-term wins.
5. The Power of Active Listening
✅ Listen more than you talk—you’ll uncover valuable insights.
✅ Repeat key points the other side makes to show understanding.
✅ Ask open-ended questions to reveal their true motivations.
6. Control the Anchoring Effect
✅ The first number thrown out in a negotiation (the anchor) influences the entire discussion.
✅ If possible, be the first to set the anchor in a way that favors you.
✅ If they set the anchor, counter quickly with a reasonable but favorable alternative.
7. Use Silence as a Tool
✅ Silence makes people uncomfortable—use it to encourage the other party to speak first.
✅ If they make an offer, pause before responding—this puts pressure on them to improve it.
8. Understand the Other Party’s Interests (Not Just Their Positions)
✅ Position = What they say they want.
✅ Interest = The real reason behind their demand.
✅ Dig deeper to understand their real motivations, and you’ll find win-win solutions.
9. The Power of “Yes, And” Instead of “No”
✅ Instead of rejecting an offer outright, say: “Yes, and…”
✅ This keeps the conversation positive and moving forward rather than shutting it down.
Example:
❌ “No, we can’t lower the price.”
✅ “Yes, and if we adjust the payment schedule, we might find a way to make it work.”
10. Emotions Drive Negotiations – Manage Them
✅ People make decisions based on emotion first, then justify with logic.
✅ Stay calm and composed, even if the other party is aggressive.
✅ If emotions run high, pause, breathe, and refocus on the goal.
11. Never Accept the First Offer Too Quickly
✅ If you say “yes” too fast, the other side may feel they could have done better.
✅ Even if the offer is good, pause and consider countering to ensure the best deal.
12. Frame Your Proposals in a Way That Benefits Them
✅ People care about what’s in it for them—highlight how your proposal helps them.
✅ Use language that connects to their goals and priorities.
13. Don’t Negotiate Against Yourself
✅ If you make an offer, wait for their response before making another.
✅ Don’t lower your demands before they even push back.
14. Concessions Should Be Strategic, Not Random
✅ Don’t give something away for free—always trade for something in return.
✅ Frame concessions as a sign of goodwill to keep the relationship strong.
Example:
✅ “I can lower the price, but only if we extend the contract to 12 months.”
15. Negotiate the Process, Not Just the Terms
✅ Set expectations upfront about who makes decisions, the timeline, and next steps.
✅ This prevents delays and misunderstandings later.
16. The “Take It or Leave It” Tactic Often Backfires
✅ Hard ultimatums make the other party defensive.
✅ Instead, offer options:
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“Would you prefer A or B?”
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“How can we make this work for both of us?”
17. Small Wins Build Momentum
✅ Get agreement on small points first—this creates a sense of progress.
✅ Once people start saying “yes,” they’re more likely to continue agreeing.
18. Use Scarcity to Create Urgency
✅ People value things more when they seem limited or time-sensitive.
✅ Examples:
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“This deal is only available until Friday.”
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“We have limited spots left.”
19. Negotiate in Person or Over Video When Possible
✅ Emails and texts lack tone and nuance—miscommunication happens easily.
✅ Face-to-face negotiations (or video calls) help you read body language and build trust.
20. The Final Agreement Must Be Clear and Documented
✅ Vague agreements lead to problems later—get everything in writing.
✅ Summarize key points in an email immediately after to ensure alignment.
Final Thoughts: Negotiation is a Skill You Can Master
✅ Negotiation Made Simple proves that anyone can become a great negotiator with the right strategies.
✅ Whether in business or everyday life, strong negotiation skills help you get what you want while building lasting relationships.
✅ By applying these principles, you’ll handle difficult conversations with confidence and walk away with better deals.
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