Negotiation isn’t just about business deals or high-stakes meetings—it’s a skill that can get you anything you want in life. Whether you’re asking for a raise, closing a deal, or settling a dispute, your ability to influence, persuade, and find common ground will determine your success.
In You Can Negotiate Anything, Herb Cohen reveals that negotiation is a game, and those who understand the rules will always win. The good news? You don’t need to be aggressive or manipulative—just strategic, confident, and prepared.
Let’s explore the key principles and strategies to negotiate your way to success in any situation.
1. Everything in Life is Negotiable
👉 Most people think negotiation is only for business deals, but it applies to everything:
✅ Asking for a discount at a store
✅ Negotiating salary with your boss
✅ Getting a better deal on a car or house
✅ Resolving family conflicts
🔹 The first step? Realize that everything is up for negotiation—but only if you ask.
💡 Example: Airlines often have flexibility with ticket changes if you politely ask and explain your situation.
2. The Three Key Factors in Every Negotiation
Cohen breaks negotiation into three main elements:
1️⃣ Power – Who has control?
🔹 Power is not just about position; it’s about perception.
🔹 You gain power by having more options, confidence, and information.
💡 Example: A job candidate with multiple job offers has more negotiation power than one with none.
2️⃣ Information – Who knows more?
🔹 The person who has more knowledge has an advantage.
🔹 Ask open-ended questions and listen more than you speak.
💡 Example: Before buying a car, research the price, dealership margins, and financing options to negotiate a better deal.
3️⃣ Time – Who is in a rush?
🔹 The more patient person usually wins.
🔹 If the other side is in a hurry, they are more likely to make concessions.
💡 Example: When negotiating a salary, don’t accept the first offer. Delaying shows confidence and can lead to a better deal.
3. Use "The Power of No"
👉 One of the strongest negotiation tools is the ability to say NO.
🔹 Many people feel uncomfortable rejecting an offer, but hesitation can be used against you.
🔹 Saying “No” first makes the other party work harder to convince you.
💡 Example: If a salesperson offers a deal, reject it first. This makes them lower their price or improve the offer.
4. The Flinch – A Simple Trick to Get a Better Deal
👉 When you hear an offer, react with surprise or disappointment.
🔹 This subtle reaction forces the other party to justify or lower their price.
💡 Example:
👤 Seller: “This phone is $1,000.”
😲 You: “$1,000? Wow, that’s really high…” (Wait in silence)
👤 Seller: “Well, we can do $900.”
5. The “Higher Authority” Tactic
👉 When negotiating, always have someone else to check with—even if it’s fake!
🔹 Saying “I need to check with my boss/spouse/partner” helps you delay and avoid direct pressure.
💡 Example:
👤 Car Dealer: “This is the final price.”
😊 You: “I like it, but I need to check with my partner before deciding.”
🚀 This keeps you in control and forces them to sweeten the deal.
6. The "Good Cop, Bad Cop" Strategy
👉 If you’re negotiating as a team, one person should play reasonable and friendly, while the other is tough and demanding.
🔹 This makes the other party want to cooperate with the “good cop”, leading to better results.
💡 Example: In salary negotiations, one recruiter may say, “We really want to hire you”, while the other says, “But we have a strict budget”.
7. Never Be the First to Name a Price
👉 Whoever names a number first loses.
🔹 The other party might have been willing to accept much less (or pay more).
🔹 Instead, ask “What’s your budget?” or “What are you willing to offer?”
💡 Example:
🔹 Job Interview – Let the employer state the salary range first.
🔹 Selling a Car – Let the buyer make the first offer before you reveal your price.
8. Silence is a Powerful Weapon
👉 After making an offer, say nothing.
🔹 Silence makes people uncomfortable, forcing them to speak first (often making concessions).
💡 Example:
👤 Seller: “The price is $5,000.”
🤐 You: (Stay silent and maintain eye contact)
👤 Seller: “But we can go lower if that helps…”
9. The "Walk Away" Strategy
👉 Be willing to walk away, and you’ll gain power.
🔹 If you’re not emotionally attached to the outcome, you’re in control.
💡 Example: If a car dealer won’t lower the price, walk away. Many times, they’ll call you back with a better offer.
10. The Win-Win Mindset
👉 Great negotiators don’t just “win” deals—they create deals where both sides feel satisfied.
🔹 If the other party feels cheated, they won’t do business with you again.
🔹 The best deals are ones where both sides feel they got something valuable.
💡 Example: In a business partnership, instead of arguing over who gets a bigger percentage, find a way to create more value together.
Final Thoughts: Mastering Negotiation in Everyday Life
Negotiation is a superpower—it helps you get better salaries, lower prices, stronger deals, and better relationships. The key takeaways:
✅ Everything is negotiable—you just have to ask.
✅ Power, information, and time determine who wins.
✅ Silence, walking away, and saying “No” make you stronger.
✅ Win-win deals are the best long-term strategy.
🚀 Want to become a master negotiator? Read You Can Negotiate Anything by Herb Cohen and start applying these strategies today!
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