In Getting More, Stuart Diamond redefines negotiation as a human-centered skill that anyone can master—not through power or logic, but through emotional intelligence and strategic empathy. Diamond argues that successful negotiation is not about winning battles but about understanding people, uncovering their needs, and crafting solutions that work for both sides. Using real-world stories—from boardrooms to classrooms to international diplomacy—the book shows how small, thoughtful moves can create massive impact. Whether in business, relationships, or daily conversations, Diamond’s approach teaches you how to influence effectively, reduce conflict, and get better outcomes with less stress.
🔑 Key Concepts
🧠 The Human Factor in Negotiation
Focus on Emotions — People make decisions emotionally first, then justify logically.
Value Perceptions — What something is “worth” depends on how people feel about it.
Be Curious, Not Combative — Asking questions uncovers deeper motivations.
Negotiate About Them — Understand their worldview to shape your approach.
Every Situation is Personal — Tailor your strategy to the individual, not the scenario.
🎯 Goals Over Positions
Separate Goals from Demands — People’s stated positions rarely reflect what they truly want.
Define Clear Objectives — Know your real goal before you negotiate.
Look Beyond the Obvious — Hidden interests often unlock easy wins.
Invent Options — Don’t argue; create solutions both sides can accept.
Aim for Small Wins — Incremental gains accumulate into major success.
💬 Communication that Influences
Use Standards — Objective criteria reduce conflict and build fairness.
Be Constructive — Criticism shuts people down; solutions keep them engaged.
Tell Them What You Want — Clarity prevents misunderstanding and drama.
Use Simple Messages — Short, clear communication increases cooperation.
Acknowledge Their Perspective — Validation reduces resistance instantly.
🔍 Tools for Understanding & Leveraging Perceptions
Trade on Differences — Swap what’s low-cost to you but high-value to them.
Find Their Emotional Currency — Everyone has motivators beyond money.
Use the "I Feel" Approach — Emotion-based statements reduce defensiveness.
Make Comparisons — Context changes how people see options.
Reframe Problems — A new perspective can turn conflict into collaboration.
🤝 Building Stronger Agreements
Focus on Implementation — A deal is only good if it works in practice.
Pilot the Agreement — Test small versions before making them final.
Think Long Term — Preserve relationships by avoiding short-term wins that damage trust.
Address Problems Early — Small issues become big ones when ignored.
Ensure Mutual Satisfaction — People stick to agreements they feel good about.
🚀 Negotiating in Everyday Life
Negotiate Everywhere — With coworkers, partners, children, and strangers.
Use Persistence — Calm repetition helps you reach better outcomes.
Stay Calm Under Pressure — Emotional control improves clarity and results.
Build Rapport — Connection reduces friction and increases cooperation.
Be Flexible — Rigid strategies fail; adaptive ones succeed.
✨ Final Thought
Getting More proves that negotiation isn’t about power—it’s about people. By prioritizing empathy, clarity, and small strategic wins, you can influence more effectively, resolve conflict smoothly, and create agreements that truly work. When you understand what others value and how they see the world, you unlock the ability to succeed in any situation—professionally and personally.
